Tomorrow I will be twenty-two years old. Don't tell ANYONE!!!

Nevertheless, if you see me around and want to give me the U.S. Savings Bond that you have been waiting to give me for weeks, just wave or call out. My name is Trey Manthey, but you can call me "Trey." But make the checks out to "Gustave A. Manthey III."

All is full of Trey.

So I just started a new job. With my very own office and computer and chair. Very exciting times, these are. Yesterday, all my co-workers and managers and bosses convened inside my cubicle for whatever reason and started eating candy. Apparently, before I was hired, the candy vendor for the entire corporation worked in my cube. What did I learn during this impromptu team-building session? Do not, under any circumstances, eat Harry Potter jelly beans. Especially the flavors "Booger", "Vomit", "Ear Wax", or "Sardine." Especially not "Sardine." Especially not all at once, no matter how much peer pressure is applied.

If you disregard this warning, much mouth rinsing and "Gah!" noises will follow to the bemusement of all.

I am going to try something new next time I introduce people to each other. Let's say I have two friends that have never met (and I will make up some names to illustrate this point). Let's say one of their names is Melissa. Let's say that the other one's name is Brandon.

conversation, conversation, awkward silence...
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Have you two met before?
Melissa: Nah, brah.
Me: OK. Here goes...Melissa, this is Phinius. Brandon, this is Tonya.
Both (in unison): Huh? (look to me)
Me: (incredulous expression and hands motioning as if to imply "Huh?!?")

If you ever hear me laugh out loud while no one else is around, I'm probably thinking of things like this...

Ahhh....the best part about the morning after Halloween is that you can have a bowl of CANDY for breakfast instead of a bowl of cereal.