So I just started a new job. With my very own office and computer and chair. Very exciting times, these are. Yesterday, all my co-workers and managers and bosses convened inside my cubicle for whatever reason and started eating candy. Apparently, before I was hired, the candy vendor for the entire corporation worked in my cube. What did I learn during this impromptu team-building session? Do not, under any circumstances, eat Harry Potter jelly beans. Especially the flavors "Booger", "Vomit", "Ear Wax", or "Sardine." Especially not "Sardine." Especially not all at once, no matter how much peer pressure is applied.

If you disregard this warning, much mouth rinsing and "Gah!" noises will follow to the bemusement of all.