Moments In the Last Few Days That Were Slightly More Awkward Than Creepy:

1. I am sleeping and am roused by something on the bed. I look up to find my cat staring at me in the dark from the foot of the bed. I reach out my hand to becon her; she moves not an inch. She continues to stare, unflinching, as though she has spotted an otherworldly presence. One of us farts, and both of us pretend we didn't notice.

2. I am talking to someone that I don't really like and I notice that his fly is down. It is especially apparent because he is sitting down with his legs splayed out in front of him. I point out his overventilation, and he reaches down (while still maintaining eye contact and without breaking his flow of speech) with both hands and fumbles around like he can't find his crotch. He fumbles for about three sentences. After finally securing the zipper, he stops talking and looks down and seems to be wondering why he was touching himself down there. He doesn't look back up for a while.

3. I print out song lyrics that I plan to tape up inside the bathroom stalls of the men's bathroom at work. Titles include Boston's "More Than A Feeling," Journey's "Don't Stop Believing," and Europe's "The Final Countdown." While I am finishing the final stall, someone starts to use the Boston stall. As I pretend to finish my business and exit, I hear the mystery person slowly start to hum the melody to the song and sing the lyrics under their breath. I recognize their shoes.