Once I was driving down St. Charles with Justin and Scott. I think we were going to the Shim Sham for Glam night or something. I saw a girl walking on the hazardous sidewalks one block before Napoleon, dressed up in a hoochie-mama skirt and three-inch heels. She was by herself, and apparently strugglin' with the heels. Right before we passed her in Justin's car, her shoe caught on one of the protruding concrete slabs, and she stumbled momentarily, looking around to see if she had been seen.

Scott rolled down his window nonchalantly and screamed in his Banshee Goat voice, "I SAW YOU TRIP, BITCH!"

Everyone in the car was stunned. I believe it was the most selflessly mean thing I had ever seen, but I couldn't fathom someone as well-adjusted and good-natured as Scott doing it. After about half a second, we all realized how fucking funny it was and laughed our asses off. I still feel a little pang of guilt, thinking about the damage done to this girl's self-esteem, but this guilt quickly turns to guilty pleasure. Every time I see someone stumble, not the kind where you actually fall down, rather the kind that makes you spazz out harmlessly for a moment, I want to scream, "I SAW YOU TRIP, BITCH" so loud that my throat burns.

But I don't...I just say it under my breath and then guffaw.