In the basement of our apartment building there is a room that lies directly underneath my bedroom on the first floor. This room is like a recreation of a Quay Brothers film set. There are the standard creepy items: blood spattered baby dolls with one eye missing and their hair torn out, a collection of rodent skulls, Boschesque scenes of Judgement Day pasted on the walls. Assorted dildos.

However, the piece de resistance of this macabre menagerie is an apparatus that was apparently assembled by one of the former residents for submission to one of her upper level art classes at Loyola. Upon a wooden frame there is a pneumatic pump which is surrounded by several gauges that may or may not work. This pump is attached to a plexiglass enclosure that feeds into a hose that has a full face gas mask attached to the end of it.

Inside the plexiglass is a decomposing rat.

(pause for dramatic effect)

The idea is that you pressurize the chamber and release the air into the inhaler by pressing a button. This is intended to simulate the feeling of death. I haven't tried it yet, but I like to think of it at night, just below my floorboards. It is also great for picking up chicks. The end.