1.08.2001
What a night! She is home, but she is gone. Thus ends another chapter of my life. The loss of love has run through me like a cold front. Congrats Kaytie Pickett, You have made my top five! Of course, you are the only...

I sit here shivering much like the time when this all began. Perhaps it is because I am mostly naked and there is no heat. Perhaps it is due to a mild spell of depression that may or may not set on me in the near future. I feel alone, but not in a particularly good or bad way. Just neutral, or defeated. Good because someone I care about has progressed; she is happier now and yay for her. Bad because I wonder if I ever made her happy, and I will never want to lay eyes on, much less speak to her.

I suppose we are very different people, and that fact even meant different things to us. I thought our differences complemented, but she found them abrasive. Some people need to be with someone that is exactly like them. Truth be told, I often fantasized about canning her, but I didn't think that tonight's conversation would lead where it did. Who the fuck knows who the right girl for me is? Prof. Pearce, I have adored this quote ever since you drove it into my noggin: "Et gustibus, et coloribus, et mulieribus, non disputanda est."

What do I want in a relationship anyway? Sense of humor must be alive (or at least be in a coma-like state, waiting to be revived)! Personal attraction is an assumed factor. Also, next time let's look for someone who is less enraptured with themselves. A healthy physical relationship would be nice. Last, but not least, she must enjoy music.

But let us remember the good times. Hmm...Trey's balls...Debbie Gibson...drunken nights at the Carousel Bar and Pirate's Alley...poking your head in the door and saying "Hey!"...Sammy Circus...shaking like a leaf under pink Christmas lights...hours listening to you talk about all these people I would never meet, but that being okay because I got to hear your voice and look at your face...State Fair...glam nights...Maple Street, all of it...movie nights...Rotel...sorority counseling...hugs (oh, I will miss the hugs, but they haven't been offered lately anyway now that I think of it)...the nights in Butler...New Year's Eve...laying on the grass on UC Quad with your face framed by the clouds...your smile, whenever it came...I don't want to go on.

Stay hardcore, you bad-ass motherfucker. Goodbye. You are probably checking the grammar if you are reading this.
link to this post   2:04 AM by Trey | (0)

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