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10:16 ::: "If you would like to hear a duck quack...." 1. dial 1-800-888-3999 (it's free) 2. listen to all of the options 3. after hearing #7, hit 7 Quack. 10.13 ::: gone for the weekend. for your enjoyment, the family circus! 10.12 ::: reading jack's weblog has become the highlight of my days. there is an entry today that hits close to home in several ways: "people don't stop to realize that hiding behind these words, behind the screen, and sometimes behind the wall of sound.. well, it's the ultimate form of cowardice. because i am not always the jovial, stupid, crazy guy that all these letters paint me to be. i am scared, introverted and often quite boring. but these are the inroads that i make-- this is my attempt to convince my reader that i am not the socially inept wallflower that i was in high school, and that i am a charming, witty, friendly guy. because i am: that part just has to be pried out of me." 10.9 ::: thanks to super sleuth ben, for pointing out that the dream below was stated almost verbatim in the latest issue of the Onion. to research this hunch, our hero moved his cursor approximately 20 pixels south and clicked on, coincidentally, my credit link to the Onion. good work ben! also, new studies show that babies are stupid. 10.7 ::: once i had this dream that i was being chased through and empty department store by Christopher Walken, the scariest man alive. also, secrets for getting laid. 10.6 ::: "hey dude, you have some food in your sideburn." yeah, i am so cool. 10.5 ::: insert little graphic of stick man with shovel and a hard hat in front of alternating black and yellow parallel lines. 10.4 ::: I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.