I'm sure you would all like to hear about last Friday, when I met a porn star and her manager downtown outside my office building (during the day!) and how I was invited to have an "audition" at the company's soundstage in New Orleans because apparently there is a shortage of tall men in the adult movie business with a "V"-shaped abdomen. I met a porn star whose first name starts with "J" and whose last name ends with "ameson."

I might tell one person in my office about my lunchtime adventures who would proceed to tell EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. Then EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD would give me a sly, knowing smile and comment on my "film career" with a chuckle when passing in the hall, in the breakroom, or riding the elevator.

You may want to hear about it, but I'm not telling anyone else. Not even you. Especially not you.

I could be engaging gorgeous, synthetically enhanced, disease-ridden women in physically demanding and extremely degrading sexual acts in a number of intriguing, ridiculous scenarios that overexpose human sexual relationships to a point that force viewers to zone out on a pair of undulating genetalia rather than feeling any sort of arousal or stimulation of imagination.

I may talk about this with a detatched air of superiority, but I am secretly proud of myself. That could be me on the screen...or on the semen-smudged video rental box...or on your creepy uncle's computer your mother's secret collection. That could be me in the copy machine repairman's outfit.

Adolphus Labarre. Tyrannosaurus Trey. Lanky Slim. PORN-fucking-STARR! Me and my enormous donkey dong will rule the world of porn.
link to this post   2:34 PM by Trey | (0)
We played the Dixie last night with Lust from Atlanta (poppy pirate punk) and Bonaparte Lagarde and the Conquerors from NOLA (fat-man-in-a-cape punk). It was a seafaring themed night, apparently. We had a decent set, but the acoustics of the place were making it really hard to hear the other instruments, so one might say we were a bit Trashier than usual. Christy from the Hazard County Girls was there, but I think she came in after we finished. Nevertheless, that made my night. The End.
link to this post   12:05 PM by Trey | (0)