The internet bores me.

I want to start a new site. Maybe this has already been done, but I'm just going to pretend that I am especially clever for concocting this evil little plan o' mine. Gather round, and I'll tell you:

Ok, first off, this is not a project you would want to start if you wanted to make internet buddies, or be e-popular, or "have a life." This is a pasttime springing from boredom and apathy (ingredients for trouble!). The basic idea is that you read alot of blogs, and keep an eye out for trouble.

Examples of Trouble
"Dear readers, my tires were slashed today"
"I was mugged near the 375th Street Y"
"I left my wooden finger in a Gypsy Cab this afternoon"
"I have been diagnosed with West Nile Virus."

Once such entries are read, you would sign into Trey's Cauldron of Malfeasance (the working name for this publishing system), and compose a sort of premonition of the above misfortunes, as if you were the instigator of these misfortunes. A date and time approximately an hour before the misfortune would be entered.

Examples of Trouble Making
"I'm going to go slash Soandso's tires."
"I'm going to go mug the next person I see on 375th street."
"This girl left her wooden finger in my cab this morning...and I kept it."
"I transformed into a mosquito today and bit someone, transferring the deadly West Nile Virus."

This would just go on and on. No links. But I have a feeling that it would be eventually discovered and become wildly popular and start generating some decent lawsuits. Whaddaya think?
link to this post   6:42 PM by Trey | (0)
I've been reading Bill Gates interviews and biographies for the last hour or so. It's interesting how I have become so trained to hate the man because he is "evil and monopolistic," but I find him to be tactful, interesting, and certainly brilliant. I guess it's a matter of opinion regarding his business practices; however, my capitalistic tendencies are pretty similar to what he discusses. My reluctant admiration has transformed into the genuine variety.

In this 1994 interview with Playboy, he reveals that he was called "Trey" (he is William Gates III) through college. Hmm...
link to this post   3:01 AM by Trey | (0)
Time to switch, baby!

Come to papa...
link to this post   12:46 AM by Trey | (0)
After being together for almost a year and a half, right as we were running out of things to talk about, Melissa and I find something else that we enjoy doing together. Some of you may be familiar with a particularly nerdy card game called Magic: the Gathering (aka "cardboard crack"). Well, when I broke out my ole cards to show her, it piqued her interest. Her playing Magic with me makes her the geekiest and coolest girlfriend I have ever had. Plus, she started medical school today. Since I was totally supportive of her from the very beginning of her illustrious medical career, I think I have got a solid foot in the door on the way to being a male gold digger.

As scheduled last night, the Shim Sham provided part one of my bi-weekly dance catharsis. Many crappy beers were consumed, and I got to dance to "Beat It" in public.

those are people who died, died
those are people who died, died
those are people WHO died, died
they were all my friends
they just died
link to this post   2:53 AM by Trey | (0)
Hmm...looks like it might be about time to switch web hosts. I feel a strange desire to code some shit for this site...PHP isn't an option, and ASP is making me grind my teeth into a bloody, pulpy mess.

These guys are local, fairly cheap, and seem to know their if things seem wonky around here for a while, you know what's going down.
link to this post   9:05 AM by Trey | (0)
I test drove several cars today in my first real step towards buying a new car, since that unfortunate week in March. I visited two lots, a Nissan lot and the local Volvo dealership. I've taken a fancy for the new Altima V6, but I don't think I could afford a new Volvo. I must say I am biased towards Volvo. I have driven five (5!) different Volvos semi-regularly since my first car - a 1987 740 GLE (R.I.P. 1998).

Oh, and I also test drove a Vespa today, which was fun. I'm going back next Saturday for another dose of Italian scooter love, if anyone else wants to come.
link to this post   3:59 PM by Trey | (0)
Man, it must suck to be Jimmy Eat World. I borrowed my dad's car, which was tuned to the local "Lite n' Easy" station, and, I heard their single. You know, the take some time ittle bittle whatever song. Not only does their music suck, but they are finally old enough to have fun being rock stars and their listening audience is already geriatric. Prepubescent girls and yuppie couples trading off for the groupie throne. Yay. That's what you get for putting the words ittle bittle in your songs.

In local rock news, I am waiting for tickets to the Queens of the Stone Age/Trail of Dead show to go on sale. The House of Blues website is in a state of Ticketmaster limbo. They cannot decide whether to sell or not to sell. The website is showing an odd almagation of "Sorry these tickets are not onsale yet" and "click here to buy tickets" messages, but none of them go anywhere. What they need is a capable, talented, and handsome New Orleans web programmer to manhandle their backend...server backend that is.
link to this post   3:37 PM by Trey | (0)
I'm listening to death metal with my birds. Both Aepha and Tyler are out of their respective cages, pouting on the front left corner of the table. During the moshing parts they start chasing each other around and making loud birdie screams.

If anyone ever wants to give Trey the gift of clothing, I've heard that linen pants are Trey's favorite. Oh that's right, I'm Trey. I swear, I must be the only person in the world who knows about the virtues of linen pants. I bought three pair at Banana Republic today, just to stock up, cuz they only sell them in the summer. Their benefits include:

Also I am preparing a "portfolio" for my web work. That's right, it's "coming soon." Every time I click on a portfolio link on someone else's site, that's what it says. I however, will not fall prey to this stereotype. I'm going to start mine right now, and it will be finished by 10am. I promise.
link to this post   1:29 AM by Trey | (0)