Trey's 27th Birthday Wishlist

Well, it's that time of year again, when we celebrate the circle of life, and the 27th consecutive year that I haven't died a tragic death. This year also marks my "Golden Birthday," which means that I turn 27 on the 27th and someone urinates on me. Although this designation is about as useful as a buckle on a pilgrim's hat, I like things that make me seem more special than I really am. For those of you who have yet to purchase me anything for my birthday, here is my list of gifts that I am expecting to receive. I will cross them out as I receive them. Thusly:

1. Digital SLR camera - What man doesn't have a high-end camera these days? I need a good camera to capture all those special moments in high-resolution digital format.
2. High Definition Camcorder - This should have a very good night-vision setting. I need a good camcorder to capture all of those special low-light moments in a high definition format.
3. Raymond Douillet piece - I would prefer one of the larger oil paintings, but if you're on a budget, anything will do.
4. Case of 2005 Paraduxx - Like my mom always says, "If you can't give someone a thoughtful present, enough booze will make them forget you are a bad friend."
5. Handjob - I mean, it's not my favorite, but they're great last minute gifts.
6. A good hug, with both arms, around my waist - It's all I really want.