6.05.2007
I know I should probably just sleeping dogs lie, but there is a story to be told, and as long as I'm here coming down from some of the most intense and awesome shit I've ever experienced I'll get it off my chest, and by "chest" I mean my massive, rippling pectoral muscles. The fact is that I had a killer workout yesterday, and I just can't get it off my mind.

Here's what happened.

It all started while I was just hanging in my apartment. Suddenly, I was so overcome with the overwhelming urge to push my body to the limit that it wasn't even fucking funny. Before I knew it, I was pulling on my awesome skintight black biking shorts, and my color coordinated black tank-top and black cycling shoes. As I walked out the door and prepared to mount my two-wheeled steed, I couldn't help but notice a group of fine women standing outside the restaurant across the street, basically ogling my package. I could tell that their male companions were feeling really insecure about their bodies and shit at that moment; it was really kind of unfair for them. My mistake. Anyway, they didn't have much time to stare because I was already hammering down the avenue at 14 plus MPH.

It wasn't long before my quadriceps were quivering and glistening with sweat like the well-formed flanks of a championship racehorse. I made it to the park in record time and started cruising around the loop with all of the regular people. Their faces were just like, "What is he doing here? Did we stumble into some Olympic training facility or a secret government genetic engineering project?" I pulled over at one of those workout stations and cranked out some pullups and pushups like they were nothing. There were these women walking past with strollers and I could see them looking at their babies in disgust, and I knew they were just thinking, "I wish I was having his babies instead." I was just like, sorry babes, I'd love to make that happen, but I'm in the middle of pumping up the guns. You're just going to have to accept it.

After that was over, I decided to do some work on my abs. I took off the tank top and started ripping the shit out of my abdominal muscles. I did over 50 reps and man it felt so good. It was somewhere around this point that I realized that I was in the middle of a yet another killer workout. By this time, I was literally dripping with sweat, but instead of looking gross, it looked really great. I decided that it was a pretty good look for me and that it was probably best if I called it quits before I got the urge to do some more reps or something.

Anyway, I think that's about takes care of staying unbelievably physically fit for me. You best believe that in no time, I will be pushing my body to the limit again before you even know it.
link to this post   1:19 PM by Trey | (1)

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Comments:
you forgot to tell those wimmins that i'd be having your babies in their stead.
# posted by susan : 6/06/2007 1:16 AM