In honor of my encounter last night with Dave Eggers, one of my personal heroes...

THINGS I'VE EATEN IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, IN ORDER OF INCREASING DIFFICULTY ON ACCOUNT OF MY RECENT TONSILLECTOMY

Macaroni & Cheese
Pasta Salad
Whopper Value Meal
Chicken Portabella Lavash Roll
Spicy Tuna Sushi Roll
Pop Rocks and Coke
Habenero Peppers Covered In Peanut Butter And Sprinked With Glass Shards From A Broken Light Bulb