"Oh hey everybody! LOOK AT ME! I can't print from my computer. I'm sooo important that I can write a 500 word article about how I can't print and how everyone cares about that problem and will be talking about it around the water cooler this morning. Now I'm going to post this using the ugly blogging tool that I designed that doesn't even validate with XHTML standards."
- Jeffery Zeldman's inner dialogue

"Oh hey everybody! I'm really hot, and probably not the best actress, but my favorite thing to do is dress up in period themed bondage gear and fight vampires and werewolves in horrible action movies. Watch out for my accent, because I trained with a linguist and a vocal coach (named Cheech and Chong) to prepare me for my role as a Transylvanian pirate cum circus performer! You rlike vat you zee?"
- Kate Beckinsale's inner dialogue

"Oh hey everybody! I've got some news about my band, the TRASHIES, and I'm going to make fun of my dad online, and then maybe bitch about work a little. Then I'm going to try to sound introspective, or even intellectual. Or maybe I will just post a picture of myself without a shirt on. You can see my nipples!"
- My inner dialogue