Part 3 in an ongoing series (How to Get A Goat): Walk into a bank on a Friday Afternoon. Wait for someone to walk up to the little kiosk to fill out a deposit slip for their counter deposit. Walk up to the kiosk a few seconds later and grab a deposit slip and start frantically filling it out. Mutter "comeon,comeon,comeon" and sneak glances at the other person every few seconds. Now you have three options:

1) Fill in all the fields with bogus info ASAP so that you finish first. As you jog to the line waiting for a teller, let out a smug chuckle and gloat at your victory. When they enter the line behind you, say, "Looks like slow and steady lost the race, but I'll let you have this one." Stroll out of the bank.

2) Pretend to make a bunch of mistakes and scratch-outs. Curse loudly each time you do this. When the other person finishes first, tell them "Good game." When they take their spot in line, stare at them jealously, tear up your deposit slip into teeny pieces, throw the pieces towards the line, and storm out of the bank.

3) Actually make a deposit. This one is pretty boring. I love direct deposit.