Guys like to pee standing up. It is bred in our genes. There is something satisfying about assuming a wide-leg stance and bringing a healthy stream of urine into the world.

Guys don't like to pee next to other guys. Perhaps it harkens back to our animalistic side, in which peeing represents a marking of territory. "Well if we are peeing in the same place, then it means we have the same territory, and that is, like, sooo gay."

This affords me much entertainment in public restrooms that have multiple urinal stations. About one in three guys will turn their head and look at you or your crotch as you start your business. What I like to do when I see this phenomenon is put on my biggest, creepiest, most maniacal grin (which is pretty freaky considering the amorphous nature of my face) and stare directly at them for the duration of our time together. Sometimes I start chuckling/tittering very quietly for dramatic effect. It's the next best thing from turning away from the urinal and peeing on them a little.

I've never done that, by the way. If someone ever did that to me, I would be dumbfounded.