10.22.2003
The old Volvo 940 Turbo has been taking some hits lately. There was the hit-and-run in October that put her in the body shop for a month. There was the assault by a humongo-cab van while she was parked off the road. Finally, last night her window was busted and my $450 stereo was taken. C'est la vie...

I really glad that they didn't take:

1. My iPod
2. Any of my CDs
3. My Zack Morris style brick phone
4. The box of Cheez-Its in the back seat. Get your own box, bitch!

However, they did have the schmegma to open my glove compartment, and steal the little plastic holder for the detachable face. At that point, when I reached over and saw that that worthless accessory was missing as well, only then did I scream out, "Noooooooo!" I mean, the idea is that you get the detachable face to take it off at night so people WONT steal the stereo. The thieves recognize this simple fact and take care to also retrieve the protective casing that is always lovingly included.

I wonder if the thief reads my weblog? Maybe he will see this post and secrectly reinstall the stereo under the New Orleans moon's watchful eye. He will also leave appropriate compensation for the broken window. Then he will ring the door bell and run away into the night, leaving only a carefully wrapped package containing the face holder, the remote control, and a thoughtfully crafted mix CD. The first track will be OutKast's "Mrs. Jackson." I will open the door in my bath robe, but wait! The bath robe isn't tied all the way, and it looks like it might slip open! I bend over to pick up the gift and realizing who it's from, open the card right there, exitedly. I can't post the contents of the card here, but rest assured, it was very touching. I look out into the darkness and for a second I think I see the thief in the shadows. Then I realize it is the thief, and he is breaking into my neighboor's car. I shake my head and say to myself, "That thief!"

Then a gust of wind blows my bathrobe completely off. That's where the dream always ends.
link to this post   9:22 AM by Trey | (0)

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